Step 3 of AA: Surrendering to a Higher Power
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
At this point in recovery, the three core ideas remain central, with the most important being: that God could and would—if He were sought. Making the decision to turn my will and life over to a higher power, as outlined in Step 3, is a crucial milestone. It was essential to remember the unmanageability of my life when I first entered the fellowship. At that time, my reasoning abilities were limited, and trusting in anything beyond myself felt foreign.
Embracing the concept of "as we understood Him" acknowledges that my current understanding of a higher power is enough for this step. This mindset allows me to build trust gradually, creating a foundation for continued growth in my recovery journey.
God could and would—if He were sought.
Beginning the Journey: Learning to Trust
In the early stages of my recovery, learning to trust the fellowship became a cornerstone of my healing process. With the guidance of a dedicated sponsor, I met weekly for over two hours, immersing myself in the program’s teachings, particularly the wisdom found in the Big Book. The advice of the old-timers—“believe in the fellowship”—carried me through my doubts. Seeing the light in others kept me coming back, and that light, I came to realize, was God.
As my commitment deepened, I embraced service roles within my home meetings, offering the same hope that had once made me feel part of something bigger than myself. My first commitment was as a greeter, welcoming others just as I had once been warmly received. This simple act of service reinforced the cycle of support and connection. My dedication to the program began to build the light within me. Giving back shifted my focus away from my own struggles and toward others—a gentle but significant change in my journey.
Commitment to the Work
During one of our weekly sessions, my sponsor and I reached page 63 of the Big Book, where the Third Step Prayer is introduced:
"God, I offer myself to Thee—to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always."
After reciting the prayer together, my sponsor asked, “Do you understand what this means?”
I hesitated. The idea of committing to something greater than myself still terrified me—or so I thought.
“Maybe the real struggle is that I’m still unable to fully access my emotions,” I admitted. “I don’t even know how I feel about anything, let alone a higher power. How can I believe in something I can’t even grasp? How can I give myself to Him? Who is Thy self?”
Looking back, I now realize it was fear. I was afraid that if I acknowledged my emotions, I would unleash a flood of them—something I wouldn’t be able to control. I felt lost. I knew there were secrets, a darker side of myself, that I wasn’t ready to explore. Something had driven me to pick up that first drink, and I didn’t have it in me to face it without alcohol.
But that’s exactly why we have sponsors and others in the fellowship. I learned to trust my sponsor—she had guided me consistently. Her commitment to the program gave me the strength to keep moving forward through the steps.
She reminded me, what the prayer actually meant, and that God could, and would help, if He was sought.
The Power of Receiving Help
Sensing my unease, my sponsor reassured me. She reminded me that “as we understood” meant my current understanding was enough. I didn’t need to have all the answers—I just needed to be open. To accept that I was no longer in charge.
Thank God, I thought. I had made a mess of my life thus far.
She encouraged me to place my faith in the program and the fellowship, emphasizing that turning my will and life over to a higher power didn’t have to be complicated—it only had to be sincere and to the best of my understanding.
She advised me to check in regularly, assuring me she would always do her best to answer my calls. If she wasn’t available, she encouraged me to turn to my home meeting’s phone list.
"But don’t call to ask for help," she said. "Call to offer someone else support."
In the early stages of recovery, I experienced a profound realization: when I'm hurting, offering help to others can be a path to healing. This aha moment illuminated the depth of my inherent selfishness, as I came to understand that selfishness and self-centeredness are often our default states. Embracing the practice of helping others has become one of the most cherished concepts I’ve encountered in the program.
My sponsor also advised against making major life decisions without guidance, reminding me of my fragility and the recent acknowledgment of my life’s unmanageability. This counsel underscored the importance of seeking support and building trust in the recovery process.
I reflected on my early days in the fellowship:
"For years, I relied only on myself, convinced that people would always disappoint me. My need to control every second of my life was my way of coping. But it left me disconnected from my intuition and my true self. I brought that mindset into my first meeting, and it nearly kept me from staying."
But isolation no longer seemed like a viable solution. Placing faith in the fellowship became my new path.
My sponsor instructed me to go home, find a quiet place, say the prayer aloud, and sit with it. “This is it,” she said. “You’ve completed Step 3.”
Simple, yet crucial. To live this prayer honestly and humbly is the real work.
She assured me, “If you do, the light will begin to grow within you.”
And she was right.